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Ashens
'Ashens' '''aka '''Stuart Ashen is a British comedian, born in Norwich, England, in 1976. He currently lives there with his girlfriend. The majority of his work is video-based and is currently the fourth most subscribed comedian on Youtube UK. He's best known for his humourous reviews of knock-off gadgets such as the POP Station - a fake PSP which plays only one game, and does that badly. He has produced several popular animations and a music video. He also once appeared on British TV as 'Mr. Noseybonk,' a terrifying children's character from the 1980's. Ashens released a DVD of his videos in November 2008. Terrible Old Games The idea behind Terrible Old Games You've Probably Never Heard Of is to dig out some obscure stinkers from gaming history and poke fun at them. I also try to add some back story so that viewers don't need to be familiar with obscure formats from 25 years ago. The terrible games in question can be for any computer or console. However they must have been released at least ten years ago, and be genuinely terrible - badly designed, broken games that are no fun to play whatsoever. Godmonster.jpg Quincy.png Chef.png Skull.png Skullta.png Nosey.png Recurring Characters The Godmonster of Indian Flats: a genuine - and stupidly unconvincing - B-Movie monster that nobody's ever heard of. Quincy: a caterpillar that sings obscure Beatles Songs Chef Excellence: "An Excellent Character" A plump faced smiling chef who was the mascott of Stay Fresh Cheese Bags in the UK. He occasionally interupted Dr. Ashen with a jingle and text reading "An Excellent ''blank". After a few months a dark sorcerer turned Chef Excellence into a puppet. Now the good chef has hit rock bottom. He's a homeless, drunken mess who is unable to find a job, effectively forced to come to Stuart for money, only to be mauled by his poodle. Tis a sad end for such a renowned culinary artist. '''The Silver Skull': Summoned by the "Skull Signal" the Silver Skull holds a grudge on the doctor for activating his signal and denying him a murder. In the December of 2010, posing as Father Christmas (Santa Claus to Americans), he sent Ashen a box with twelve bits of Christmas related tat which Ashen reviewed, one per day, up until Christmas when the Silver Skull revealed himself. He announced that each product was coded with a part of a deadly poison. Alone the items are harmless, but if one handled all twelve they would die a slow, painful death. Luckily Stuart wore rubber gloves for each review as he became suspicious when he realized Father Christmas didn't actually exist. The Silver Skull also has a YouTube channel called "SilverSkullUK" where he uploads improvized jazz keyboard solos. The obscurity of his channel and popularity of Ashen's has made him jealous. The Nosey Bonk: A character from the old British Childrens TV Show "Jigsaw", Mr Noseybonk is a man wearing a dinner suit and a white mask with a long phallic nose. The Noseybonk has gained a reputation as a unintended feared character due to its grotesque appearence and mannerisms. Facts Ashens uses the online alias of 'Ashens' because his surname 'Ashen' is always already taken when he signs up for anything, presumably because it's a proper word. Ashens is an amalgamation of his surname and first initial, and of course also means 'belonging to Ashen.' He said, "Plus if you say it really fast it sounds a bit like a door opening in Star Trek." On the subject of TGWTG.com he said, "I became involved with TGWTG after Guru Larry teamed up with Mike Michaud, and said that if I didn't join they'd release their devastating tag-team wrestling moves on me." Sketches On June 24th, 2009, Ashens started performing sketches on the site which go alongside his reviews. *PC by Post (June 24th, 2009) * The Secret Life of Skeletor (July 6th, 2009) *The Secret Life of Skeletor 2: Electric Boogaloo (July 30th, 2009) *The Box of Retro Delights (September 16th, 2009) *25 ZX Spectrum Games That Sound Like Porno Movies From The Seventies (February 28th, 2011) Specials *Ashens and the Quest for the GameChild (September 4th, 2013) Links *Ashens's Youtube Channel *Ashens on TGWTG.com *Ashens.com *Trailer Club 70 *Ashen's sketches Category:Blistered Thumbs Category:Former Contributor